A mother´s love. A woman’s touch. A female voice. Girl power. Twenty Filipino expats pick their most influential women and the lessons they learned from them.
According to Rumi, the 13th-century Persian Sufi poet, a woman is a beam of the divine light. She is not the being whom sensual desires take as its object. She is a creator, it should be said. She is not a creature.
A woman creates wisdom and knowledge. She teaches the world the importance of roots, of selfless investment, of nurturing, of caring. Of loving someone beyond oneself without an immediate guarantee of return.
This Women’s Month, Filipino Expat Magazine has asked 20 Filipinos living around the world a simple yet deeply personal question: Who is the most influential woman in your life, and what important lesson did she teach you?
While their locations differ, their North Star remains the same: an influential woman who molded them and whose words guided them through the challenges of living in a foreign land.
Nanay, mama, mom, mudra
Unsurprisingly, for most of these expats, the woman who shaped their lives the most is the same person who first held their hand, their mother.
For US-based Mia Dianda, she describes her mom Angela as possessing extraordinary strength. Despite facing numerous challenges and obstacles, Mia’s mother never allowed hardship to define her. Instead, she demonstrated resilience and determination. Reflecting on these lessons, Mia shares, “My mother taught me the importance of values—honesty, perseverance, respect, and compassion. She showed me that character is built through the choices we make every day and through the way we treat others.”
According to her mom Angela, the people we surround ourselves with shape who we become. Most importantly, she instilled a deep respect for education, reminding her that it is something no one can ever take away and a powerful tool to build a better future. “The values, strength, and wisdom my mother passed down continue to guide my life today. Her influence is woven into the way I live, the decisions I make, and the person I strive to be.”
Living in France, Khristine Diana still holds close the words of her mother Siony from childhood. Growing up with limited resources taught her family important lessons about contentment and perspective. Khristine recalls her mother saying, “Learn how to make ends meet even when you have little, and be content with what you have.” She adds that her mother encouraged them not to chase dreams beyond their means if doing so would only bring unnecessary stress and disappointment. “She told us to keep life simple so that it remains light, peaceful, and happy.”
A recurring theme among the expats interviewed is the “gift of the backbone.” For Louie Hechanova and Mae Tolentino, expats from Germany and Spain, respectively, influence was defined by the push toward independence. “My mom Jazmine taught me to be independent and with that independence, to take full responsibility for every decision I make,” says Louie. Both their mothers taught them that to stand on one’s own is the ultimate freedom. “My mom Pimeh always reminds me to grow as me,” adds Mae. This sentiment is echoed by Joseleo Logdat in Italy, who was taught by his mom Leonila not only be independent but to “always fight for your right.”
For Portugal-based Shane Zubia, one of the most important philosophies his mother Shirley ever shared with him is the power of choosing happiness. “Earlier in my life, she taught me that happiness is a choice,” Shane explains.“I try to make that choice every single day and live the happiest, most fulfilling life I can.”
Spain-based Romel Alojado´s family may lack generational wealth, but his mother’s greatest gift was faith. “My mother Lia taught me to always have faith in the Almighty and trust that everything will fall into place.” Now living abroad, Romel often faces loneliness and challenges far from home. “When I’m sick or feeling anxious about life, I only have myself to rely on,” he shares. “But with the value of prayer that my mother inculcated in me, I never truly feel alone.” He is always reminded that he is never truly alone because God, and his parents´prayers are always with him.
Across the English Channel in the United Kingdom, Jesfel Rivera Ubaldo speaks about his mother Dolores with admiration and respect. To her, she embodies both strength and humility. “No matter what challenges she faced, she carried herself with grace,”she says.“She always reminded me to stay grounded and treat people with kindness and respect.” Perhaps the lesson that shaped her most was her insistence that success requires effort. “Nothing in life is handed to you. You have to work hard for what you want.”
Some lessons from mothers come with a touch of humor and practicality. US-based Carinna Regalado remembers her mother’s influence both in family priorities and everyday life. “My mom Erlinda taught me to put my daughters first—and to go shopping,” she laughs. But behind the humor lies an important life lesson about independence in relationships. Her mother advised her not to feel trapped in uncertain situations, reminding her that personal freedom and self-respect should always come first.
Another US-based expat, Edwin Asis, credits his mother Gloria with teaching him self-sufficiency and integrity. “When you start living your life, make sure you’re self-sufficient and don’t depend on anyone,” she told him. She also warned him against taking advantage of others, reminding him that “there is always karma in this world.”
Spain-based Karen Trujillo affectionately describes her Nanay Ponyang as someone who taught her the true meaning of love and sacrifice. “Loving your family will entail lots of sacrifice for their future,” her mother would say. Karen says. “She also showed me that there will always be something you can do or offer to someone in need.”
For Sharon Masler, her mother Hazel taught her to remain humble even in moments of success. “Stay grounded always,” she told her. “Treat any achievement, milestone, or success as an avenue to be a light to others.” Lessons that she really took to heart in her journey as an expat in the US.
For New Zealand-based Jasmine, her mother’s influence centers on family bonds. Even when they sometimes have different opinions, Jasmine says the lesson remains clear. “My mum Cyd has taught me the importance of family and loyalty.” Similarly, US-based Marlou Colina sums up the immigrant’s mantra in words taught by his mother Anita: “Never give up in life.”
Lola, Yaya, Titser
For others, the most influential woman in their lives is their grandmother, their lola. For US-based Randy Pollentes, it was her Mamang Loring´s quiet wisdom and strength that shaped him as a person. Reflecting on her influence, Randy shares, “My grandmother, who is technically my mother because I grew up with her, has always been one of the biggest influences in my life. She taught me the importance of following my dreams with determination while always being kind and respectful toward others. She also instilled a deep sense of faith and patience and showed me that everything happens for a reason. And that faith can see you through any challenge.”
Another Filipino-American, Chiara Cox, also credits her maternal grandmother Vicencia as the most influential woman in her life. The lesson she received from her was simple but deeply powerful: “To love with a fierceness—as if today were your last,” always reminding her that love should never be measured or restrained, but given fully and wholeheartedly.
For many Filipino families, household caregivers and nannies often become extended members of the family. Their daily presence and nurturing influence leave lessons that last far beyond childhood. For UK-based Cathy Moraga, that woman is someone who has been part of her family for decades. “The most influential woman in my life is my Yaya Billy, who has been with us since 1976,”she says. “She taught me to always be humble and kind.”
For Canada-based Janette Simplina, the most influential woman in her life is her elementary school English teacher Olivia Rustia. More than teaching grammar or literature, her teacher demonstrated compassion and fairness in the classroom. Janette recalls how teacher Olivia treated every student with dignity. “She treated everybody and all her students without any judgments. She gave full support and practiced being grateful, loving, and enjoying life with all that comes with it.”
FVP & CEO
Influence can also come from relatives whose professional achievements inspire others to dream bigger. For US-based Ines Montenegro, the most influential woman in her life is her relative Rose Montenegro, the former President and CEO of Makati Medical Center. She taught Ines something direct and memorable: “Never reject an opportunity because it may never come back again.”
Inspiration also comes from public figures who embody leadership and integrity. US -based Jackie Rivera admires Leni Robredo. She places her at the top of her list, alongside other respected leaders such as Risa Hontiveros, Maria Ressa, and Loida Nicolas-Lewis. Jackie believes that Robredo represents the ideal balance of grace, humility, and strength. “To me, she represents the epitome of grace, humility, and strength of character.” Jackie is inspired by Robredo’s authenticity that allows her to move comfortably in any setting. “Despite her success, she remains grounded, able to move comfortably between the simplicity of a street vendor and the elegance of a restaurant with Michelin stars.”
Beyond giving us life, women build our spirits. They give us the warmth of an embrace and the sharpness of their wisdom, showing us how to be soft enough to feel, yet firm enough to survive. These are the active voices in our heads. They tell us to stay grounded, to care for ourselves, to put our children first, and to never, ever give up.
These voices are a gentle reminder how a woman changes the lives she touches. A mother´s hug, or a grandmother’s patience, or a teacher’s fairness can alter the course of a life forever. To imagine a world without women is to imagine a world without air. Sad, dark and unlivable.
This Women’s Month, we recognize that the Filipino expat community stands tall because of these women. They taught us the greatest skill of all. How to leave home without ever losing ourselves.
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