As we celebrate Heart´s Day today, we ask several Pinoy expats on their thoughts on Valentine´s day. Have they preserved the “extra” warmth of Pinoy romance while integrating into the more subdued, pragmatic rhythms of their host countries?
Jelyn, Barcelona
When Jelyn Dimaculangan first arrived in Barcelona, the silence on February 14th was almost deafening. “I grew up celebrating Valentine’s Day in a big, romantic way,” she recalls. “I wanted to feel the love everywhere. When I arrived in Spain, I was surprised and a little heartbroken to see people treating it like any other ordinary day. It felt like I showed up ready for a rom-com, while everyone else was just running errands.” This initial culture shock is common for many Filipinos in Europe.
In Spain, while the holiday is gaining traction, it remains a far cry from the commercial spectacle of the Philippines. Over time, however, Jelyn has learned to blend her native passion with Spain’s relaxed vibe. Now, she finds the contrast funny. It’s a good excuse for her to celebrate extra.
Fortunately for Jelyn, her husband owns a local pastry shop. “He sells heart-shaped cakes, pastries, chocolates, and chocolate roses, which makes me still feel the Valentine’s spirit,” she says. Her Spanish husband also makes it a point that despite the demands of work and parenting, they prioritize a quiet dinner together after the shop closes, leaving the children with her mother-in-law. “To keep the romance alive.”
“I cook something special for Valentine’s Day for my husband and kids. I like to make it feel extra special by decorating the table, preparing their favorite dishes, or adding a sweet dessert. Even a simple homemade meal can feel romantic and meaningful when shared together.”
One of the perks of living in Barcelona is that February 14th isn’t the only day for lovers. On April 23rd, the region celebrates Sant Jordi’s Day (The Feast of Saint George), where the tradition is to exchange books and roses. “It feels like I get to enjoy two Valentine’s Days every year,” Jelyn notes. This second celebration helps satisfy her craving for the grand romantic gestures she grew up with, albeit with a uniquely Catalan twist.
Despite her happy life in Spain, Jelyn admits to missing the “chaotic” energy of a Philippine Valentine’s. She fondly remembers the communal nature of the holiday, teasing friends about their crushes, wearing matching outfits, and sneaking flowers to single friends so they wouldn’t feel left out. “Basically spreading love and a little drama everywhere. And of course, popcorn and romantic or drama movies in the cinema.”
Jelyn´s Spanish friends are also romantic, but their idea of romance is more low-key. “When I tell them about Filipinos doing harana, or malls overflowing with heart-shaped gifts and chocolates, and the mass weddings, they laugh, shake their heads, and say, That’s adorable… and a little crazy!´t’s always fun watching them imagine the mix of romance and chaos something I think they would never do themselves.
“There’s something so uniquely Filipino about harana, standing under someone’s window and singing your heart out,” she muses. “It shows that love isn’t just about gifts or fancy dinners, It’s about effort and creativity. And making someone feel truly special.”
The Rubios, Berlin
Jomar Rubio, who together with his wife Myls and three children, lives in Berlin, notes that while Valentine’s Day is certainly present in Germany, it lacks the “magnified” intensity as it is celebrated back home. “When I first arrived in Germany, I noticed that their celebration is more subdued and often focused strictly on couples.”
Rather than fighting the local flow, Jomar has found a deep appreciation for the Germans´ penchant for privacy. He prefers to use it as an opportunity to show appreciation in small, meaningful ways. Less about commercial tradition and more about moments of genuine connection.
Describing themselves as “simpletons,” Myls leans into food, her primary love language. “My husband loves it when I cook, so whatever I put on the table, however simple the dish is, it makes him happy,” Myls shares. For her, Valentine’s food isn’t about complicated gourmet recipes; it’s about the creativity and care that goes into the presentation. “Cooking for someone is a way to show care… it makes the meal feel more festive and personal.”
Despite the sophisticated calm of their Berlin life, certain elements of a Philippine Valentine’s remain irreplaceable. Myls speaks fondly of the Pinoy “Valentine’s rush”, a communal energy where schools, workplaces, and local neighbourhoods all partake in the joy. “I miss the sense of kilig, that shared excitement and joy that exists whether you are single or in a relationship,” she admits, adding, “It feels more personal and heartfelt, and very rooted in Filipino warmth and togetherness.”
Jomar has often found himself in the role of a cultural ambassador, explaining the “Pinoy style” of romance like harana, and the idea of mass weddings on V-day to his German colleagues. The reaction is often one of charmed bewilderment. “They were surprised by the mass weddings,” They said, ‘Wow, it’s like a festival of love!’ They found the idea of singing one’s feelings aloud in public both charming and a little funny. It sparked a fascinating conversation about how cultures express love differently.”
Jomar and Myls have found happiness in “different flavors” of the same celebration. While Myls still cherishes the memory of the vibrant, social, and “extra” Filipino Valentine’s, Jomar has grown fond of the German quiet. “I think I prefer the more quiet and practical way we celebrate here,” Jomar admits. “Just my wife and I, having dinner and some alone time, days before or after the actual date.”
And if there is one Pinoy thing, they want to share with their German friends, Myls chooses “The expression of ‘pag-ibig’ or the spirit of expressing love and appreciation through small, heartfelt gestures. What I love about this tradition is that it’s not just about romantic love—it strengthens bonds among family, friends, and communities.”
Jomar picks ‘”Panliligaw or traditional courtship. In the Philippines, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of thoughtfulness, effort, and connection. I love how it emphasizes sincerity and personal effort in relationships. Bringing this tradition to Germany could add a layer of intimacy to Valentine’s Day, encouraging people to slow down, express themselves genuinely, and celebrate relationships in a more personal, thoughtful way.”
Wil, London
For Wil Abarcar, who resides in London, the traditional February 14th can feel less like a romantic interlude and more like a logistical skirmish. To avoid the crowd´s frenzy, Wil and his partner of sixteen years have been enjoying a celebration that begins a day early. A quiet evening in a nice restaurant, or a delicious cake and a glass of chilled Prosecco has become his way of celebrating the day of hearts.
“The actual day tends to be busy and impractical. Our Valentine´s day tradition started even when we were still dating.” Their tradition, which started as a discreet necessity in their early years as a same-sex couple, has evolved into a sophisticated “Valentine’s Eve” celebration. Instead of flashy gifts, they engage in a “witty card competition,”
“Gift-giving can create unnecessary pressure and disappointment,” Wil observes. “We prefer to discuss and plan activities or purchases that we can enjoy together or for our home. We engage in a friendly competition to find the wittiest cards with heartfelt messages. I’m particularly fond of ones featuring two bears in love.”
Amy, Dubai
If you think the Philippines is “extra,” and Middle East is low-key? Try Dubai. “UAE is very cosmopolitan, even more cosmopolitan than other western cities.” reveals Amylou Lopez-Dy, who has been a resident of Dubai for years now, adding that Valentine’s day is extremely popular in Dubai! That it can rival Manila in its intensity.” So intense that all the flowers in the Emirates get sold out on V-day and malls and restaurants have to prepare for this day weeks ahead.”
Living in one of the most cosmopolitan cities in the world, Amylou doesn’t feel much of a culture clash, she celebrates Valentine´s day eating out in a restaurant with her husband enjoying a nice romantic dinner just like they used to do in Manila.
When asked what specific Philippine tradition she wants to share share with her non-Pinoy Friends. “Harana, I can only imagine the songs from different countries filling the city,” she muses, envisioning a multi-lingual serenade under the Burj Khalifa.
Quintin, Tuscany
Meanwhile, in Tuscany, Quintin Cavite finds the Italian celebration “cold.”
“Chocolates are everywhere all year round here, so giving them on Valentine’s feels ordinary,” he remarks. For many Pinoys in Italy, the day is often swallowed by work, leaving little room for the grand gestures they grew up with.
“Some of my friends say it’s just another ordinary day,” he remarks.
Yingying, San Francisco Bay Area
After 23 years in the US, San Francisco-based Yingying Kooyman´s ideal Valentine´s day celebration is a quiet dinner or a trip out of town with her husband, usually a day before or after V-day to avoid the hype.
While she misses the creative aspect of making handmade cards and craft, writing poetry, or making detailed plans she used to enjoy doing in the Philippines, she finds the “loud” chaos of Philippine celebrations a bit too much. “It kills the romance out of it,” she admits. As she gets older, she looks at Valentine´s day celebrations as overly commercialized, insstead of romantic, quiet, and fun.
As different as these stories are, most of our Pinoy expats still find the kilig in the gaps between cultures. Leave it to Sandy Ramos in Sweden to remind us that while the celebration can change, some Pinoy expectations are non-negotiable. “I still remind my Swedish husband every year to greet me on Valentine’s Day,” Sandy says. “Or else, Third World War will explode!”
You can take the Pinoy out of the Philippines, but you can never take the “extra” out of our puso, because as Richard Signey in Madrid argues, “Love should be celebrated “consistently and constantly” rather than once a year.”
Cover photo: Nick Fewings jannerboy62
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